First, the backstory... a few weeks back I was bellyaching on Facebook about the minimum height requirement to drive the go karts at our local family fun center. I was particularly annoyed that, despite the fact that I am an adult with an actual drivers license who drives an actual car, I am not considered tall enough to drive the go karts. This warranted a great deal of self-deprecating short jokes and snarky commentary on how silly this restriction was. I received a lot of empathy from my friends over on FB.
Jump ahead a couple weeks... I took my kids to that family fun center without my 6'+ tall husband. While my son is quickly approaching my height, I was still the tallest member of our family there. So, I decided to see if the spunky young teenager running the go kart track would let me drive my kids around the track. I mean, come on: adult, drivers license, drove myself there in a real life car. These were the arguments I had all ready to throw out.
The young man did not require a long, drawn-out debate. I just said, "I know I'm not technically tall enough, but--" And then he said, "Whatever," and shrugged and let me go. I think my daughter thought we were getting away with the fun center equivalent of a bank heist.
We climbed into the kart and managed to snap all five buckles across and over and through and every which way. Engines were revving. A day's worth of exhaust hung heavy in the air.
"This is gonna be awesome," my daughter declared.
I was a little too smug at my "height requirement, schmeight requirement" moment to say anything. I just gave her one of those lips-turned-out, slow, pointed head nods.
All five drivers and our passengers received the "don't run each other off the road," "white flag means go," "red flag means stop" instructions. The white flag was raised high. I wiggled my eyebrows at my daughter. The white flag snapped down.
Karts sped down the track. Well, four karts sped down the track.
I couldn't get the gas pedal down. My legs wouldn't reach.
I was ... too short to drive the go karts.
Moral of the day: We have rules for a reason, people. Obey them. They are for your own good.
Actual moral of the day: If you loosen your 5-point harness enough and sit at the very edge of your seat and drive with the very tips of your toes, even short people can get the gas pedal in halfway and crawl around the track at a speed that will have your prepubescent passenger shaking her head and declaring "This is soooooo embarrassing." But, you got to drive the dumb go kart despite being freakishly short, and that is something.