SME - Welcome to I Need Friends Friday!
Susan Auten - Yay. One thing you need to know up front. I type faster than I think.
SME - And I just choose to forgo the thinking altogether
Susan Auten - tee-hee
SME - I am excited to have you as a Friday Friend. I have cyber stalked you for a while now.
Susan Auten - Well, why didn't you say hello? I'm not scary, am I?
SME - But saying hello kind of takes the creepy factor out of cyber stalking. I'm there, but you don't *know* I'm there. See how that works?!
Susan Auten - Totally worked. I didn't know you were there. But if it makes you feel any better, I've stalked you a couple of times too.
SME - Mutual stalking. I like.
Susan Auten - That's the best kind.
SME - So when you aren't stalking or unknowingly being stalked, what do you like to do with your time, Susan?
Susan Auten - Write. But that's a lame answer here. Hmm. Eat chocolate chip cookies, watch movies and kiss my husband's cheeks. I married him for his cheeks, in case you were wondering.
SME - I married my husband for his singing voice, so it's all good.
Susan Auten - You're lucky. I always wanted a husband that could sing.
SME - Can he lip sync? 'Cause that could count. It worked for Milli Vanilli
Susan Auten - "Girl, you know it's true!"
He tries to lip sync at church and then tell me he's singing. I always tell him God knows when you're lying, especially in church.
SME - If you're gonna lie, don't do it in Church. That's what I've *always* said.
Susan Auten - Yeah. It's a good motto.
SME - It's right up there with, "If you're gonna lie, do a good job."
Did I mention I also married my husband 'cause I'm hoping he'll get me in to heaven? (since I'm not sure I'll get there on my own merits)
Susan Auten - I just snorted.
SME - You thought I was joking? That was completely serious.
Susan Auten - Good luck with that. Maybe it'll work. I don't know how my husband and I are getting in. We're both spitfires. Maybe we can hang on our kids coattails. Especially the youngest one. She's an angel.
SME - There ya go. No pressure, kid, but the family's salvation depends on you.
Susan Auten - Yep. We don't expect much out of our children. Actually, I think I told my kids just this morning they were going to heaven if I had to drag them kicking and screaming. They looked at me like I had a third eye.
SME - Just last night while we were discussing the importance of not fighting and having a peaceful and loving spirit in our home, I explained to my kids, "I just want you to love each other, you big bunch of jerks." That drove the message home.
Susan Auten - Yeah. I tell my kids not to hit each other and then when they won't quit, I spank them. I hope CPS doesn't read this.
SME - Good point. Perhaps I should state for the record that I am the ideal parent who never raises her voice or punishes her children. *ahem*
Susan Auten - Me too. I was just kidding before. *clears throat*
SME - So, Ms Susan Auten, you have a new book out.
Susan Auten - Yes, I do. *sweeping bow*
SME - Do tell.
Susan Auten - Well, It's called Becoming Bayley. It's about a girl from Star Valley, Wyoming whose big dream is to make the BYU women's soccer team. She goes to camp and not only snags a spot, but a hot guy too—the men's team goalie, Matt Macauley who is about to leave for his mission.
While he's gone, her hair falls out because she gets alopecia and she has to deal with what it's like to feel really self conscious and ugly.
And then she quits writing him. But I don't want to bore you with anymore details...
SME - No, no, no Susan. You say "I don't want to give away any more than I already have. You'll just have to read the book to find out what happens next!" And then people buy your book by the thousands. Free (and excellent) marketing advice right there.
Susan Auten - Hahahah. Okay. I don't want to give anymore away, so you'll have to read the book to find out what happens next. Tiny spoiler: The boy comes home and they run into each other at the Y.
It's really good y'all (I can say that since I'm from the south.) There's a makeover, and a sister her drives her nuts. A brother who is seriously lacking social skills and a roommate that has a crush on the brother.
SME - Little known fact about me: I played soccer as a child. That's right. Quite the athlete right here. I took a break from ballet for one season. Didn't score any goals, but I perfected my pirouette out on the soccer field.
Susan Auten - Soccer!!! Love it, Sarah. My daughter just scored her first goal Friday night. She's played five seasons. You should have stuck with soccer.
SME - Well, at the end of the season the coach kindly suggested that dance was probably my true calling.
Susan Auten - Ugh. Sucker punch. Wow. Did you give him a ticket to your next dance recital?
SME - In his defense, he was right about me and soccer not being a good match.
Did you ever see the movie "Ladybugs" about the girls soccer team? Remember the player who spent every game watching butterflies and ignoring the game itself? That was me. Except, instead of watching butterflies, I was choreographing imaginary dance recitals.
Susan Auten - No, I never saw that. But obviously your calling was in the dance studio. My eight-year-old son played soccer and I finally told him I had to quit. He'd pretend to shoot all the kids coming toward him on the field instead of going after the ball. I couldn't take it any more.
SME - Some of us were just meant for different things in life. Dancing. Warfare.
Susan Auten - I know. I finally had to accept that my boys are not cool. For fun right now, they go out in the back yard, arm themselves with foam sleds and have Gladiator battles.
SME - Actually, that's pretty cool.
Susan Auten - Yeah, until somebody gets hurt. And it's always the youngest. Broken rib, broken tooth, pencil in the eye, gigantic splinter up the leg.
SME - Okay, that isn't cool. But ya know what is? The portrait I drew of you!
Susan Auten - Ah, the picture!
Susan Auten - That's darling. I love it. You are truly talented.
SME - *sweeping bow*
Susan Auten - Hey that looks sorta like the cover of my book!
SME - Hmm. Maybe I did that on purpose. Hmm.
Susan Auten - Hmm. You're smart like that.
SME - Marketing genius, I'm telling you.
Susan Auten - Does your publisher know they're getting a two-fer-one? Do you do your own covers too?
SME - If only my covers could be stick figures, I'd have it made!!
Susan Auten - Hey, those Diary of a Wimpy Kid books do pretty well.
SME - True. My next book needs to be "Diary of a Romance Novel Heroine." Actually, that's not a bad idea. *ponders*
Susan Auten - That would be awesome. And you're really funny like that Kinney guy.
SME - Holy cow. I forgot to ask you the most important question of every INFF interview!!! What is your favorite continent?
Susan Auten - Oh, wow. I guess I have to say this one because Hawaii's on it. And that's where we went on our honeymoon.
SME - Aaaahhhh. Bonus points for going with the sentimental choice!
Susan Auten - What can I say? It's lovely there. And the shave ice is divine.
SME - And now for the traditional final question: Top 5 reasons this is the best blog interview you've ever done. Ready. Go.
Susan Auten - 1. It's the only blog interview I've ever done.
2. I got to talk to one of my stalkers!
3. I got to brag about my new e-book Becoming Bayley (that you can buy on the DB Bookshelf or Amazon.)
4. The picture of me is epic.
5. I found out Sarah Eden married her husband for reasons as shallow as I married mine. Who needs divine approval with good cheeks and a singing voice?
SME - That is, perhaps, my favorite reason ever. Ever.
Susan Auten - I'll record this in my journal. *presses hands to heart*
SME - As you should.
Well, Susan, that wraps it up here at INFF. I'll be seeing you in cyber space (but you won't see me! *wiggles eyebrows in creepy stalker fashion*)
Susan Auten - Right back atcha! See ya, Sarah!
SME - *fingers crossed* Well, that's INFF for today. *cue exit music* Join us next week when I'll make a new friend!