Friday, August 5, 2011

Jill, as interviewed by my 8 year old

(Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.)

You know that old saying about "fool me once, shame on you" and then that other one about "if you don't learn your lesson the first time" or something like that? Well, somehow those are all connected to this interview. I think.
A couple weeks ago, I handed the INFF reins over to my 8-year-old daughter. I did it again, people. What was I thinking? (Probably that it's nice to take a break from interviewing once in a while and let my kid do the work.)
This time she interviewed Jill, the dental hygienist who cleaned her teeth at her recent dentist appointment. My lovely little girl hardly stopped talking enough for her teeth to be accessible--difficult for the hygienist, but great for this interview.

Take it away, "Bertha."

Bertha: *sitting in the exam chair* What are we doing now?

Jill: We're going to take x-rays--they're like pictures of your teeth

Bertha: Oh, I know how to do that.

Jill: Have you been to the dentist before?

Bertha: *with more than a touch of sarcasm* It's not like I have dentures or anything.

Jill: You are definitely too young for dentures.

Bertha: And I brush my teeth too much for dentures, too. I know how it works.

Jill: I'm glad you take good care of your teeth. *puts the x-ray film in place in Bertha's mouth. blessed silence follows* Okay. Here comes the x-ray.

Bertha: *smiles and tries to say "cheeese"

Jill: It's not that kind of picture. You just need to stay still.

Bertha: *nods, but doesn't stop her supermodel smile*

Jill: Alright, let's clean those teeth.

Bertha: Did you have to go to school for a long time to learn this job?

Jill: Yah. I had to go to school for it.

Bertha: What do you do for this job?

Jill: I clean your teeth.

Bertha: I do that every single day, and I didn't have to go to school to learn how.

Jill: I also take x-rays.

Bertha: I guess that could be kind of tricky. And you have to move the chair up and down. Was there a class just for that?

Jill: No. That was something I figured out by myself.

Bertha: Do you get to do anything cool in this job? Like blowing up the rubber gloves like balloons?

Jill: I haven't done that yet.

Bertha: If this were my job, I'd do that every day.

*Jill manages to clean for a while despite Bertha's efforts to keep talking to her*

Bertha: You have a feather in your hair.

Jill: Do you like it?

Bertha: Is it like one of those wigs men wear when their head is getting bald?

Jill: Do you mean is it covering up a bald spot?

Bertha: *nods*

Jill: No. It's just supposed to be stylish.

Bertha: Oh.

*a few more minutes of silence*

Bertha: Your ceiling is dirty. Does anyone ever clean it?

Jill: I don't know. That's not my job.

Bertha: Yah, because you didn't go to school for that.

Jill: Right.

*they manage to get all the way through the cleaning and to the fluoride treatment*

Jill: This will help make your teeth stronger. It's bubble-gum flavored. It's like candy.

Bertha: But candy's not good for your teeth. I don't think a dentist should be making kids think that candy is good for their teeth.

Jill: I just meant that it tastes like it.

*Bertha spends a full minute completely quiet while her mouth is full of fluoride*

Bertha: *spits the fluoride out with determination* That did NOT taste like candy. Yech.

Jill: Well, it's better than it could have tasted.

Bertha: I don't think so. That was totally gross. They should say it's gross-bubble-gum flavored. *spits some more*

Jill: Maybe it doesn't taste great, but it really is good for your teeth.

*the dentist examines her teeth*

Bertha: I'm missing some teeth. But I'm supposed to be missing them. It's not like they fell out and they weren't supposed to.

Dentist: You are missing all the teeth you should be missing at your age.

Bertha: And I'll get new ones. I already know that part.

Dentist: Good. Then you're not worried.

Bertha: Nah. I figured it out.

Dentist: Your teeth look healthy, and you don't have any cavities.

Bertha: I told you, Mom.

SME: You sure did.

Bertha: *talking to the dentist* She said if my brother and I didn't have any cavities it was because we got totally lucky.

Dentist: Why would she say that?

Bertha: She doesn't think we brush our teeth enough. But she didn't go to dentist school or anything, so she's really just guessing.

Dentist: Brushing your teeth is never a bad thing. So if your mom tells you to brush, you probably should.

Bertha: But I didn't have any cavities?

Dentist: Nope. Not any.

Bertha: Niiice.

SME: You still should probably brush your teeth more.

Dentist: *nods*

Jill: *nods*

Bertha: *rolls eyes* Okay. Okay.

*we leave after the appointment*

SME: I'm glad you didn't have any cavities.

Bertha: Me, too. Can I get a candy at the store for not having cavities?

SME: How about you just go back in and have some more fluoride?

Bertha: Lame, Mom.

Yep. I still got it. *cue exit music* Well, this has been a very special installment of "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!


Karen Adair said...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh my heavens I just love our interviews! Your daughter is hysterical! "That did not taste like candy..." classic.

Karen Adair said...

*your not our. :) Although I did love being interviewed by you. Highly enjoyable. :)

Paul D. Eden said...

A classic!

All these Halls said...

Haha-she's so funny. She sounds like 8 going on 13-she will be one fun teenager. You should write a kid book & make her the main character.

Angie said...

LOL. Love it. She's quite a character.

Melanie Jacobson said...

I seriously think your daughter might be the funniest kid I've ever heard.


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