Friday, July 8, 2011

I Need Friends Friday: Amy, as interviewed by my 8-year-old daughter

(Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.)

Today's INFF is a particularly fantastic one. I recently took my 8-year-old daughter to get her hair cut and, in a moment of lunacy, turned over the INFF reigns to her. She interviewed the wonderful stylist who cut her hair. And by wonderful I mean "patient." When I interviewed my darling daughter quite a while back I gave her a codename (this is the INFF Rule for Interviewing Minors--always give them a codename). That codename was Bertha, and I'm sticking with that for this interview, as well.

Take it away, Bertha.

Bertha: Are you good at cutting hair?

Amy: Yes I am.

SME: *thinks to herself this could be a really long interview*

Bertha: My mom says I have grown-up hair.

Amy: Why does she say that?

Bertha: Because there's lots of it. And because it's beautiful.

Amy: It is beautiful.

Bertha: Uh-huh. My mom also said that my hair is dead and that's why it doesn't hurt when it gets cut. And you're not killing it when you cut its head off, because its head is already dead.

SME: *that was a little bit morbid*

Amy: How old are you, Bertha?

Bertha: I'm eight years old. How old are you?

SME: *this isn't going well*

Amy: Older than eight.

SME: *nice save*

Bertha: My mom doesn't know how to cut hair. The only cut she can do is a buzz. I don't want a buzz.

Amy: We're not going to buzz your hair.

Bertha: Because it's beautiful.

Amy: Yup.

Bertha: My dad doesn't know anything about hair either.

Amy: What does your dad do for work?

Bertha: I don't really know. He just goes to his office and sits at his desk. I think he reads email. Maybe Twitter, too. I don't know.

SME: *Sorry, Honey. I'll defend your reputation later.*

Bertha: Maybe when I come back I can tell you what he does for his job. But I think it's something with computers. My dad really likes computers. Whenever there's a problem with the internet my mom always says, "Can you fix this? I don't know what's wrong." She never knows what's wrong. She doesn't know very much about computers.

SME: *Sorry, me. I'll defend my reputation later.*

Amy: Computers are tricky.

Bertha: Not really.

SME: *rethinking the whole "bring your daughter to INFF" thing*

Bertha: *watching Amy cut her hair* Have you ever done this haircut before?

Amy: Lots of times, it's very popular.

Bertha: So you probably won't do it wrong.

Amy: Probably not.

Bertha: Do you color your hair?

Amy: No.

Bertha: I don't think I'll color my hair until I have gray hair. My mom says she doesn't want gray hair. She likes her hair red.

Amy: She has very pretty hair.

Bertha: Like me.

Amy: Like you.

Bertha: My Aunt Liz cuts my hair sometimes. She lives in Idaho, so she doesn't cut it a lot. She used to work at a salon. It was really fancy. They had soda, and I got to have some when I got my hair cut there. Only the fancy salons have soda. Do you have soda here?

Amy: No, we don't.

Bertha: That's okay. Mom probably came here to save money. Fancy salons are expensive.

Amy: *looks at me, obviously unsure how to respond to that*

SME: *tries to convey with a look the appropriate degree of apology*

Bertha: We're having a girls' day out because my brother is at Scout camp.

Amy: How fun. Are you going anywhere after this?

Bertha: No. This is our whole girls' day out. It's not going to last long. Not a whole day. *looks annoyed*

Amy: But it's still fun, right?

Bertha: Yeah. And I'm going to look cute, so that's good. I won't look like a boy, will I?

Amy: No. You couldn't look like a boy even if I shaved your head.

Bertha: But what if I wore boy clothes?

Amy: Nope.

Bertha: What if I wore a mask?

Amy: But what about your cute girl voice?

Bertha: I could talk manly.

SME: *Please don't demo. Please don't demo.*

Bertha: *lowers voice to somewhere between Alvin the Chipmunk and an actual chipmunk* I'm a boy.

Amy: I still don't believe it. You're wearing flower earrings.

Bertha: What if I wore black earrings. And an earring in my nose?

Amy: Some girls wear earrings in their noses.

Bertha: I could get a tattoo. On my face. It could say "I'm a boy."

Amy: *obviously trying not to laugh* That might work.

SME: No it won't. *afraid she'll get ideas*

Bertha: I would have to not do this, though. *tips head to the side, shrugs shoulders and smiles coyly* Then everyone would know I'm a cute girl.

SME: *hangs head*

Amy: That would give it away.

Bertha: You have a lot of combs.

Amy: I cut a lot of hair.

Bertha: When I come back I'm going to say, "I want Amy to cut my hair."

Amy: I'm glad. I will look forward to seeing you again.

Bertha: Yah.

*we leave after her haircut*

SME: You didn't ask what her favorite continent is.

Bertha: That's a lame question, Mom.

SME: I ask it every week.


Got it. *cue exit music* Well, this has been a very special installment of "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!


Robin Weeks said...

You didn't draw a stick figure of the hair stylist!

The salons I go to don't serve pop, either.

Your daughter is awesome.

Ranee` said...

Every time I stumble across your blog I usually end up laughing so hard I wake up my napping children. I'll try not to hold that against you. ;) Love it! :)

Swicks said...

i'm glad she got a haircut! :D and i love that i worked at a fancy salon because we served soda ahahahaahha!

JaredNGarrett said...

My coworkers wonder why I'm having so much fun at work. I need to learn to laugh more quietly.

Your 8YO is priceless. You should hold on to her.

Terry W. Ervin II said...

Yep, put kids near a microphone or record a conversation--prayer is usually in order.

Creative and fun interview. You can tell 'Bertha' she rocks!

Angie said...

Very sweet. Kids are so wonderfully honest.

Shanda said...

Too funny! And so dang cute.

Heidi said...

You already know this, but your daughter is the cutest thing in the world. Must take after her mom (at least, her mom as portrayed on "The Appendix."

I've now added "Have hair done at a salon that serves pop" to my bucket list.

Donna K. Weaver said...

*looks annoyed*



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