(Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.)
Today's interviewee is a Random Answer Generator, a simple computer program designed to spew out words at random. I have no idea how this interview will go. It could be a hit, it could be the most ridiculous interview failure in the history of interviews.If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
SME: Welcome to INFF, Random Answer Generator.
RAG: Exactly tutor.
SME: I do try to be educational here on my website. Earlier this week, in fact, I posted a very informative piece about cliche romance. And by "informative" I mean "absolutely hilarious." What did you think of that post?
RAG: Label beware.
SME: Yes, I probably should include a warning on that post. Something along the lines of "The Surgeon General warns that reading this post may cause painful bouts of uncontrollable laughter." I think, though, this is a risk most people are willing to take.
RAG: Radiological stunt.
SME: I don't know if I'd call it a "stunt." Beyond wanting to be entertaining, I thought it really was an informative look at badly written romance.
RAG: More cake quiz.
SME: You're right. I usually do discuss food with my guests. I didn't think that would be very understanding of me, considering you don't eat.
RAG: Pointless limit dislike little.
SME: Okay, working that in to the conversation is going to take some effort. ...
I do not think that limiting myself to non-food topics is pointless, though I do dislike it a little. *tah-duh!*
RAG: Prompt climbing.
SME: I am doing my best to climb out of the hole I dug for myself by going with this pathetic idea for an interview.
RAG: Show sugar.
SME: Look, I'm not really looking to be flirted with.
RAG: Stopping wander.
SME: Yeah. Let's bring things back into focus. In fact, let's jump straight to the game. I am bringing in your close relative, the Random Romance Novel Title Generator (RRNTG) for this…
SME: You bet.
So, here's the game. I ask you to generate a series of romance novel titles. We get to laugh at them. … That's the end of the game.
RRNTG: The Italian Shah's Bemused Automaton
SME: Not bad.
RRNTG: The Samoan Performance Artist's Stentorian Dragon Lady
SME: *holds back a giggle*
RRNTG: The Scottish Billionaire's Anarcho-Syndicalist Fishmongeress
RRNTG: The Mayan Deputy Undersecretary for Homeland Security's Conniving Captive
SME: Two more. Please!
RRNTG: The Slavic King's Sleep-Deprived Duchess
The Turkish Cowboy's Bashful Princess
SME: Favorite. Game. Ever.
Now it's time for your portrait. This week I will be snatching your portrait from the Random Kitten Generator.
*grabs a random kitten picture from RKG
SME: So, what?
SME: You should be.
RAG: Plain rewriting.
SME: Rewriting is an option in novels, not so much in interviews.
Tell you what, let's go straight to the final question of the interview. Top 5 reasons this is the best blog interview you've ever done. Ready. Go.
RAG: 5. Window fit.
4. Entry evaluated.
3. Transformation celebrate.
RRNTG: 2. The Highland Viceroy's Lonely Marquesa
1. The Strongbadian Hundredaire's Reluctant Secretary
SME:*cue exit music* Well, this has been "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!