Friday, November 26, 2010

Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow-author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.

In honor of the holiday (yesterday) Today's INFF guest is a pilgrim. Peter Pilgrim, to be exact. You know you're excited! Let's meet Peter.

SME: Welcome to INFF!

Peter Pilgrim: My warmest thanks, fair lady.

SME: So how was the voyage over? I've heard conditions on the Mayflower were not always ideal.

Peter Pilgrim: Alas. I fear I suffer quite dreadfully from sea sickness.

SME: Wow. I bet you were glad to finally reach Plymouth Rock.

Peter Pilgrim: I was the first person off the ship. By mutual consent. The other passengers insisted.

SME: So you aren't the most popular pilgrim, then?

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: You know, I really like the word "alas" and no one uses it anymore.
Peter Pilgrim: That is a tragedy.

SME: Is there a popular pilgrim there in the Plymouth settlement?

Peter Pilgrim: *looks particularly grim* Percival Pilgrim. He sings and dances and all the pretty pilgrims swoon.

SME: *wonders if Puritans are allowed to dance. Or swoon*

Peter Pilgrim: Percival seems to be everywhere lately. One cannot arrive at market without hearing his voice or stumbling upon a conversation in which he plays a pivotal role.

SME: So he is the Justin Beiber of the Plymouth settlement?

Peter Pilgrim: What is a Justin Beiber?

SME: Think Percival Pilgrim with a microphone and a record deal.

Peter Pilgrim: Does this Justin Beiber cause the ladies to mysteriously swoon?

SME: The very young ladies, yes.

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: Definitely alas. So we just had Thanksgiving Day yesterday in honor of y'all and the big ol' meal you had with your native neighbors. Was it a big meal for you guys?

Peter Pilgrim:'Twas a feast, forsooth.

SME: Forsooth?

Peter Pilgrim: My brother, Sooth. It was a feast for him--he'd never seen so much food.

SME: So Sooth really enjoyed it, did he?

Peter Pilgrim: He slept for hours afterward.

SME: That is always a sign of Thanksgiving enjoyment.

Peter Pilgrim: This is a tradition which has continued, then?

SME: Indeed. So, are you a married Pilgrim, Peter?

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: Alas. Do you have your eye on any pilgrim in particular?

Peter Pilgrim: *blushes a bit and shifts about awkwardly* There is a lovely lass just down the lane.

SME: And...?

Peter Pilgrim: Paulette Pilgrim

SME:Does she have her eye on you as well?

Peter Pilgrim: Paulette does not seem to know that I exist.

SME: Alas.

Peter Pilgrim: Alas, indeed.

SME: Perhaps instead of a game I could give you a little love advice--I am a romance writer, you know.

Peter Pilgrim: Are you a reliable romance writer?

SME: *isn't sure what that even means* Absolutely!

Peter Pilgrim: Well then. I could use some advice.

SME: I think the best thing we could do is work on your Pilgrim Pick-up Lines. The last time you came across Paulette what did you say to her?

Peter Pilgrim: I said, "You appear to have stepped in horse dung."

SME: Really?

Peter Pilgrim: She had, you know. I was attempting to be helpful.

SME: Horse dung is not the most romantic of topics.

Peter Pilgrim: You've never mentioned horse dung in any of your books?

SME: *looks a little uncomfortable* It does, actually, come up in the next book to come out. But NOT as a pick-up line. And certainly not as a topic of conversation between a gentleman and the lady in whom he is interested.

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: Totally alas. Let's try a new scenario, okay? You come across the lovely Paulette, she's wearing a spiffy new dress. What do you say to her?

Peter Pilgrim: *ponders a moment* I would say, "Black is definitely your color."

SME: Does she wear black a lot?

Peter Pilgrim: She's a pilgrim.

SME: Ah, yes. How about this? What would Justin Bie--- I mean, what would Percival Pilgrim say to Paulette if he crossed her path?

Peter Pilgrim: He would likely dance about and sing repetive lyrics in a pre-pubescently high voice.

SME: And this seems to be a successful approach with the Pilgrim misses?

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: Despite its apparent success, I don't think I'm going to advice you to copy that approach. Perhaps the next time you see Miss Paulette, you could try something like "Good morning."

Peter Pilgrim: What if it's not morning?

SME: Then you could say "Good afternoon."

Peter Pilgrim: But it might be evening

SME: Alas.

Peter Pilgrim: What was that "alas" for?

SME: How about you try the dancing and singing thing?

Peter Pilgrim: I will. And I'll let you know how it works.

SME: No need. I have a feeling I know how it'll work out for you.

Peter Pilgrim: Did I detect an "alas" in that tone.

SME: Several. Would you like to see the portrait I made of you?

Peter Pilgrim: 'Twould be an honor.

*creates a fabulous portrait*

SME: What do you think?

Peter Pilgrim: Black is definitely my color

SME: You ARE a pilgrim.

Peter Pilgrim: Yes, I am.

SME: Okay, Peter, final question of the interview. Top five reasons this is the best blog interview ever. Ready. Go.

Peter Pilgrim: 1. I enjoyed it, despite having no idea what a "blog" is.
2. I received invaluable advice for my love life.
3. I mentioned my brother Sooth, something which will please him to no end.
4. I learned what a "Justin Beiber" is.
5. I was able to repeatedly use the word "Alas." This pleases me greatly.

SME: Well, that's the end of the interview Peter.

Peter Pilgrim: Alas.

SME: Definitely alas. Thank you for joining us!

Peter Pilgrim: 'Twas a pleasure, madam.

SME: *cue exit music* Well, this has been "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!

PS!!! Leave a comment and you'll be entered in November's Fantastic Giveaway!

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