Friday, October 1, 2010

I Need Friends Friday: A Box of Chocolates

Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow-author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.

Today's INFF guest also happens to be the prize in October's fabulous giveaway--a box of assorted chocolates. Oh yeah. I landed the ultimate interview this week.

SME: Welcome to INFF!

Box of Chocolates: Thanks. I'm really glad to be here.

SME: I don't imagine you get out a lot.

Box of Chocolates: Actually, chocolates have a pretty active social life. We show up at parties and weddings... all over the place.

SME: Do you show up uninvited?

Box of Chocolates: Univited? Sometimes. Unwelcome? Never.

SME: You speak truth, my friend.
People have been known to say "Life is like a box of chocolates." Do you ever sit back and get all philosophical and say to yourself... "Life is like ME."??

Box of Chocolates: I can honestly say I've never said that. I'm not even sure it makes sense.

SME: That's the way I do things around here.

Box of Chocolates: Aaahh.

SME: So what is life like for a box of chocolates?

Box of Chocolates: Rich. Sweet.

SME: Short?

Box of Chocolates: Boxes of chocolate do not have very long life expectancies.

SME: And you're okay with this?

Box of Chocolates: It's an occupational hazard.

SME: Have you ever considered changing professions?

Box of Chocolates: I once pondered becoming an architect.

SME: How did that work out for you?

Box of Chocolates: The interviews were brutal. No one paid any attention to my credentials. They just got this really hungry look in their eyes and didn't listen to a word I said.

SME: *gets a really hungry look in her eyes* I'm sorry, what did you say?

Box of Chocolates: Yeah.

SME: Did you know you are my big October giveaway prize?

Box of Chocolates: I heard that.

SME: I have a feeling you'll be one of my most popular prizes yet!

Box of Chocolates: That is definitely an honor.

SME: So, Box of Chocolates... May I call you Box, or is that too informal?

Box of Chocolates: I think "Box of Chocolates" would be best. I mean, no one really cares about the box part. It usually just gets thrown out. The chocolates are the key, really.

SME: I'm sorry, what was that? I was distracted by your delicious assortment of chocolate goodness.

Box of Chocolates: Yeah.

SME: What is your favorite continent?

Box of Chocolates: That's a hard call. South America is sort of an ancestral homeland--the cocoa beans came from there, you know. But North America is full of chocolate lovers.

SME: What about Europe?

Box of Chocolates: The European chocolates are unforgivably snobbish. We don't really like to talk about it.

SME: A sensitive topic?

Box of Chocolates: Extremely.

SME: I have a game for us to play. If you're interested.

Box of Chocolates: Sounds good.

SME: Here's how it'll work. I will pick out a morsel of deliciousness from amongst your assorted yummies and try to guess what flavor it is. Then I will eat it and see if I'm right.

Box of Chocolates: What do I do?

SME: Ummm.... You.... I got nothing.

Box of Chocolates: Basically the game is you eating me.

SME: Sounds fun, huh?

Box of Chocolates: So what would the winner of the October giveaway win if you eat all the chocolate?

SME: The box, I guess.

Box of Chocolates: Like I said before, the box is expendable. You can't just give away the box. The chocolates have to still be in it.

SME: The smell of the chocolates would still be in it.

Box of Chocolates: The smell of patheticness, you mean.

SME: Are you calling me pathetic?

Box of Chocolates: *shrugs*

SME: Hey. You wanna talk about pathetic? You're a box of chocolates who wanted to be an architect. That doesn't even make sense.

Box of Chocolates: You seem a little tense.

SME: Yeah.

Box of Chocolates: Do you have any relaxation techniques?

SME: Sure do. I eat boxes of assorted chocolates. But, apparently, that makes me "pathetic." Did you see me do the air quotes thing? "Pathetic." Whatever.

Box of Chocolates: Wow.

SME: I suppose we should move on to the stick figure part of the interview

Box of Chocolates: You drew a stick figure of a box of chocolates?

SME: Of course. What? Do you think that's pathetic, too?

Box of Chocolates: No. Just... unusual.

SME: That's the way I do things around here.

Box of Chocolates: Let's see the picture

*produces a work of artistic mastery unparalleled in the world of stick figure portraits

Box of Chocolates: Not bad. Not bad.

SME: Chocolate loses something when translated into stick figure.

Box of Chocolates: Chocolate really needs plumpness.

SME: Plumpness. Something I can easily connect to chocolates. *sigh*
Alright. Last question of the interview. Top 5 reasons this is the best blog interview ever.

Box of Chocolates: Well--

SME: Actually, I'm going to give my Top 5 Reasons this is the best blog interview ever.

Box of Chocolates: Okay...

SME: 5. The milk chocolate-covered nut clusters
4. The dark chocolate-covered creams
3. The caramels
2. The dark chocolates
1. The absolutely amazing, world-famous Cerreta French Mints!!!!

Box of Chocolates: You were distracted by the chocolates the whole time, weren't you?

SME: I'm sorry, what did you say?

Box of Chocolates: Yeah.

SME: *cue exit music* Well, this has been "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!

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Jewel said...

I literally laughed out loud several times during this interview. Wish I had a box of chocolates to eat...I mean, interview...

Kimberly said...

I really think this is your best INFF yet. Is it wrong that I thought the Box of Chocolates had a certain suave air and that I wanted to be its friend?

Probably. We shouldn't eat our friends.

Stephanie Humphreys said...

With as much as chocolate shows up during INFF, it only makes sense it would get its own interview. I think this is the best INFF yet. Speaking of chocolate, there is a delicious chocolate cake sitting on the counter and begging for attention, so I'll just excuse myself now. :)

Melanie Jacobson said...

I'm so worried about you.

sweetvictorya said...

I love your interviews with inanimate objects and characters. Your perrsonality shines through.

bethhayes said...

You are such...a...Turley. Loved the chocolate interview. Chocolate covered favorite...oh...with toasted almonds in them.
When is your next book coming out, by the way?.........We're getting a little impatient over here in the MidWest.

Elizabeth Morgan said...

I think this is fun. The picture looks really yummy!


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