Friday, October 16, 2009

I Need Friends Friday: Shantel Gardner

It's that time of the week:

(Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow-author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.)

Today's friend is the fabulous and funny Shantel Gardner. She can be found on the web at her blog Don't Drink Your Bath Water.


SME: Welcome to INFF!

Shantel: Hi! I am happy to be here!

SME: Let's start out with a little

Shantel: Cool.

SME: What would be your dream job?

Shantel: I am doing it. Being A Mom

SME: So, living the dream?! Excellent!

Shantel: It's by far the hardest thing I have ever done.

SME: So you like a challenge. (which would explain your presence here today.)

Shantel: I like the growth I see in myself, and I feel like I am part of something WAY bigger than me. And my kids are stinkin' hilarious.

SME: I have always said that I know I've had a successful day as a mom when "nobody died." How do you measure a successful mothering day?

Shantel: When I can make it to my bed with out falling asleep during prayers. I have to at least make it under the covers.

SME: What is something funny that someone in your family said or did recently? ('Cause I know you have plenty of answers to this!!)

Shantel: My son has all sorts of wisdom. He says very funny things. When I asked him to do his homework: "Mom, it's too easy. I have my dignity you know." He also said, "Boys stink. That is just the way it is. Just be grateful I am not a teenager because, from what I hear, it is only going to get worse." He has Autism. This makes what he says very direct, and almost always true.

SME: My daughter, who is not on the Autism Spectrum, but is frank to the point of being rude at times, told me the other night that I have a hairy chin.

Shantel: My daughter burst out with "A kid at school said, 'I hate president Bush,' and then farted." Just out of the blue. I almost choked on my potatoes. And my son told me that I 'looked pretty skinny - considering I did not do much around the house.'

SME: My son said that he was impressed that I balanced our budget because he didn't see me as someone who really "got" numbers.

Shantel: That is hilarious.

SME: Okay, one more insightful question (then on to the uninsightful questions): What is your favorite continent?

Shantel: North America. I am boring. But I like to be at home

SME: So, if you could live anywhere at all in the whole world, you'd pick somewhere in North America?

Shantel: I have always wanted to live in Vermont. It just sounds so romantic.

SME: Ooh. Vermont! Always makes me think of "White Christmas"!

Shantel: Me too!!! I love that movie

SME: You know, the holidays are just around the corner!

Shantel: Yes. The Food. Oh, the Food.

SME: Okay. Now I can't resist one more question. What is your favorite holiday treat?

Shantel: Peeps. Wierd. I know.

SME: The marshmallow animals? Interesting choice. I think most people either love peeps or hate them.

Shantel: I love. Frozen. It is yumm-o!!!

SME: I, personally, despise them with a despisingness that is almost unparalleled.
In the long-standing tradition of INFF, I have a game for you! This game is mind-bogglingly random, will serve no purpose in your life, and is based on absolutely nothing other than the rather skewed workings of my mind!
Today's game is entitled "Who Would Win In a Fight?"

Shantel: Okay.

SME: I'm going to give you two options and you have to tell me who, of the two, would win in a fight. (Define "fight" in any way you choose.)
#1: George of the Jungle OR Tarzan?

Shantel: George of the Jungle. Because, just like me, he appears to be clumsy and dopey, and slow on the uptake, but there is a hidden genius somewhere in there just waiting to come out. Tarzan is way too serious.

SME: Agreed. As someone who spent most of her childhood unintentionally injuring herself, I always back the klutz in any confrontation. We are secretly very powerful!
#2: My high school mascot--a hawk--or yours?

Shantel: Our high school mascot was an Eagle. And I was it. I wore the suit. It was awesome.

SME: I don't know. Eagle vs. Hawk. Sounds pretty even to me.

Shantel: I would win. Hands down. Or Talons down.

SME: I always wanted to be the mascot... unfortunately the suit didn't come in a size meant to fit a 12-year-old child (which is pretty much how big I was in High School.) Bummer.
#3: Jane Austen or Jane Eyre?

Shantel: That one is tricky. If you are talking physical girth - Jane Eyre. War of words? Jane Austen. War of meekness? Jane Eyre.

SME: Agreed. On all three counts.

Shantel: That is a GOOD question.

SME: I know, I know. How do I come up with such deep and thought-provoking material?!?! It's a gift. Alright, last entry in the "Who'd Win In a Fight" game...
#4: Me OR The Wallpaper That Formerly Hung in My Hallway?
Psst... I know the answer to this one from harrowing (and recent) personal experience.

Shantel: You, Sarah... because you rock. That wallpaper is stupid. You are smart.

SME: In the end, I was the victor, but only after tremendous personal suffering.

Shantel: I can only imagine. You are so brave.

SME: Yeah. Ladders don't help the uncoordinated. But the wallpaper is gone and I am still here, so... *points at self* Winner! What do you know! You aced the quiz.
Congrats. You are officially Champion of INFF!

Shantel: I love being the champion. Maybe I should don my Eagle costume - just to make a point.

SME: Now on to the portion of the interview where I draw a portrait of my new friend--you!

Shantel: I am so excited for this part. I can't even tell you.

SME: Having your portrait drawn by a master is something you SHOULD be excited about!

*Now a very experienced portraitist, I set to work on another astoundingly well rendered stick figure portrait.*

Shantel: I LOVE IT!!!!

SME: I thought you needed a cape.

Shantel: That is awesome. Am I Super Shantel?

SME: Absolutely! And you can show this to your son so he'll see just how "pretty skinny" you really are.

Shantel: Are you kidding? I am making it my drivers license photo.

SME: You'll notice you're rockin' it in flip-flops.

Shantel: I love my hair

SME: I took great care with your hair. I'm rather proud of how it turned out.

Shantel: I wish that was my hair cut in real life. Like I wish my bangs were that cute!

SME: All INFF portraits are entirely life-like. I am certain your hair really does look that cute!

Shantel: Well, I am tickled.

SME: I am so glad you like your portrait. I slaved over it, you know. I am sure you know what comes next... final question: Top 5 reasons this is the best blog interview you've ever done. Ready. Go.

Shantel: 1. Because this is the FIRST blog interview I have ever done.
2. This is the ONLY blog interveiw I have ever done.
3. Because sometimes - even chocolate-craving, nap-seekers need a time to shine.
4. Because I got to completely avoid housework guilt free for part of a morning.
5. Because my portrait is Dang Awesome, and the best thing to happen to me since my car actually started this morning!!!


SME: Hey. I avoided housework, too! This INFF thing is amazing!

Shantel: Completely, Sarah. You are brilliant.

SME: Thanks so much for joining us today!

Shantel: My pleasure.

SME: *cue exit music* Well, this has been "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!

ANNOUNCEMENT: In honor of the very exciting week I had (please reference this week's Wednesday Walkabout), I'm hosting another contest! Come back Monday for details on how to enter!!

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Aubrey said...

This was hilarious. I can totally picture your son telling you that you didn't really "get" numbers, and I can attest to the fact that your kids really are as funny as you say they are!
Hope you made it home safe from your VERY productive trip. :)

Shantel said...

You made me look so cool. You are awesome. Now, back to the real world....yeah....

Rachel Rossano said...

Great interview! I loved it. Thanks.

Big Toe Mom said...

AHH, it was so nice of you to ask Shantel about her favorite continent. I never knew that about her.
Ya'll are 2 of my fav peeps, NOT THE MARSHMELLOW kind, together you rock!

Heather Justesen said...

I'm actually rather fond of peeps myself, in moderation. My BIL likes to buy them and stash them for months until they become really, really stale before he eats them. I think I prefer Shantel's method. =)


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