Friday, August 28, 2009

I Need Friends Friday: Liz Swick

It's that time of the week:

(Every Friday I interview a different person and share that interview with you. Perhaps they will be a fellow-author. Perhaps one of my neighbors. Maybe the bagger at the grocery store. A member of my family. A follower of this blog. Maybe it will be you! Hey, it could happen.)

Today's friend is the lovely Liz Swick of Idaho, USA. We are going to ignore the fact that I have known Liz my entire life and therefore she isn't a "new" friend. She's just a whole lot of fun and was willing to do this interview even though she knows how abnormal I am.

Alright... here we go. (Trust me, this is going to be a classic!)

SME: Hi, Liz.

Liz: Hi.

SME: Thanks for being my INFF Friend!

Liz: You're welcome. I'm good at being a friend.

SME: So, you live in The Potato State. That's the official name, right?

Liz: Official.

SME: What's the current temperature there?

Liz: "You're asking me about the weather?" What's that from?!

SME: Um, let me think. What movie... what movie...? Puh-lease!
How many times have you seen “Twilight?” Because I heard you kind of liked it.

Liz: I actually just watched it the other day – for like the 15th time.

SME: So, I have to ask: “Team Edward” or “Team Jacob”?

Liz: Are you serious? Really?

SME: Come on. Fess up!

Liz: Edward. Are you KIDDING me?

SME: Yeah. Saw that coming.
But we digress. Back to the whole, interview-thing and making friends. You do hair and stuff. What's that called for real? Because I usually say something lame like “cutting hair person,” and I'm pretty sure that's not right.

Liz: “I'm a beautician... not a magician.” That's my motto. But I like “stylist.”

SME: How long have you been a “stylist?”

Liz: Hold on, I'm holding a sandwich & I need my hand to count....

SME: So, apparently, multitasking is not one of your strong suits.

Liz: Neither is counting. *sets down sandwich* Like four years I think. I don't even know. Sad.

SME: Do you ever have people come to get their hair cut and they don't know what they want, but expect you to come up with the perfect makeover?

Liz: Yes and it's funny. But my favorite is when people bring in pictures of wigs & say that they want their hair to look like that.

SME: Do you tell them “so buy a wig”?

Liz: I wanted to but usually people that bring in pictures of wigs...they have problems.

SME: *awkward cough* I was going to show you a picture of a <---wig and ask if my hair could look like that. Right up until you said that. Now... not going there.

Liz: Whatever.

SME: I do have a couple makeover ideas to run past you. You game?

Liz: Yes. Let's hear them.

SME: Awesome! So I was thinking that, since this INFF thing is going to make me pretty much famous, I needed a "famous" look.

Liz: Uh oh.

SME: So I have a few pictures for you of me in various "celebrity" hair-dos. Here's the first. It's Katy Perry's hair.

Liz: *long, drawn-out silence.* I'm a hater. Not of Katy Perry, but of her hair on your head.

SME: Is it the color? Or the waviness?

Liz: Um...both?

SME: Okay. So maybe black, wavy hair isn't quite what I'm looking for.

Liz: Next hair-do! This is fun.

SME: Alright. Here you go.

Liz: Taylor Swift?

SME: Actually, yeah.

Liz: Aren't I ridiculous that I knew that?

SME: Um, pretty much.
I thought I'd give Taylor's 'do a try.

Liz: I actually kind like it. Fierce.

SME: So me as a curly blond. Interesting.

Liz: You should do it.

SME: How long do you think it would take for me to grow my hair that long?

Liz: Like 12 years.

SME: *resists the urge to delve into a long-winded explanation on how horrendously slowly her hair grows* Dang. So explain “extensions,” 'cause that seems like my only option.

Liz: Don't do it. Don't even ask. Don't even think about it.

SME: Yikes. So, for the immediate future, maybe I ought to move on to the next look.

Liz: Good idea.

SME: Alright. I'm hoping this last one will work out. I happen to know this hairdo has really, really been good for this celebrity's career.


SME: *rolls eyes* It's Robert Pattinson, yeah. Soooo? What do you think? I have the length to pull it off, and heaven knows I have enough hair!

Liz: It kinda looks like a mullet. If you got rid of the red hair... Maybe.

SME: Hmmm.

Liz: I vote Taylor Swift.

SME: We have a winner!!!

Now on to the part of the interview where I ask the deep, probing questions. *right* What is your favorite continent?

Liz: Continent?

SME: It's a valid question.

Liz: Antarctica. I watched Planet Earth on it last night, actually.

SME: Any interesting facts you'd like to share with the class?

Liz: It more than doubles in size during the winter because the ocean freezes. THE. OCEAN. FREEZES.

SME: So there is a place that's colder than Idaho.

Liz: Barely.

SME: Alright, next "real" question. If you had no money and needed to sell something to buy food (or something real essential like that) what is the one thing you own that would bring you the least amount of money?

Liz: That's a hard one. I own so many things that are worthless... Our fish. His name is Mr. Bugs. He smells pretty bad.

SME: How long have you had Mr. Bugs, the smelly fish?

Liz: Since, maybe, January. I felt bad for him. I had to save him!

SME: Um, I sense a story. Share! Share!

Liz: A. He was swimming in less than an inch of water.
B. The majority of the water was probably his own waste.
C. It was dark and sad looking.

SME: So he was, essentially, living in a gas-station-bathroom toilet.

Liz: Exactly.

SME: Been there.

Now on to the portion of the interview where I draw a portrait of my new friend.

(The anticipation builds while I work intently on my newest masterpiece.)


Liz: Unibrow?

SME: Those are your glasses, loser... er... uh... new friend.

Liz: I knew that.

SME: I drew you in big, furry boots, because you pretty much live in the tundra.

Liz: Furry boots. Like Santa.
And I'm skinny. That's pretty awesome.

SME: That's the real reason I draw stick figures. No one can complain about my interpretation of their body shape.

Liz: True story.

SME: So, now on to our wrap-up question for the interview... Top 5 reasons why this is the best blog interview you've ever done. Ready. Go.

Liz: 1. Only blog interview I've ever done.
2. I found out what my favorite continent is.
3. You are rockin Taylor Swift's hair.
4. I am glad I don't have a unibrow in real life.
5. I'm going to be famous (because of the interview).

SME: Alright, well. Thanks for being on INFF. Congrats on the no-unibrow! And take care of that stinky fish.
*cue exit music* Well, this has been "I Need Friends" Friday. Come back next week when I will make another friend!!

If you'd like to be interviewed for "I Need Friends" Friday, shoot me off an email: friends at sarahmeden dot com!
I am looking for anyone and everyone, whether or not you think you are interesting. You'll get a fantastic stick figure portrait of yourself, a little promotion (if you're looking for that sort of thing) and the opportunity to tell your friends and family that you've been interviewed by SME, er... by ME!

DON'T FORGET: My Big Ol' Enormous Giveaway is on-going. To enter check yesterday's post and follow the very, very simple instructions. You could win a free book or a gift certificate for delicious chocolate/candies from Cerreta!!


Shantel said...

Liz cut my hair - so am I famous by association???? BTW, I win at the cold tundra contest. (yes - there is one - a contest-) MN cold is unlike anything. Except MN cold.

Laun and Catherine said...

That interview is probably the best interview I have ever read. I am proud to be related to both of you, very funny & entertaining-well done.

Marielle Carlisle said...

I feel like I've know Liz forever now. Excellent interview!

Annette Lyon said...

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything when I hit the Edward. It would have spewed.

Rachel Rossano said...

Great interview. :) I can't wait for my turn.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

that Edward part was hilarious. I'm still laughing.

Steve said...

Pretty much awesome. INFF is BRILLIANT! from the awkward logo/photo to the full interview. I live for randomness, and that interview was textbook random! LOVE IT! cant wait for my interview!

Jewel said...

I want to be interviewed by you!! I would feel so famous!!

Aubrey said...

Please don't try the Edward hair. :)


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